If You Can't Beat Them, Bury Them

      Get in the hole, you, you, gay fictional person you! In the foreign country of Alabama, they want to not burn books, but bury books that contain positive depictions of homosexuals. Maybe in his fifth meeting with President Bush, Alabama state legislator Gerald Allen, can find a way to further discriminate against Americans.

I ask Allen what prompted this bill. Was one of his children exposed to something in school that he considered inappropriate? Did he see some flamingly gay book displayed prominently at the public library?

No, nothing like that. "It was election day," he explains. Last month, "14 states passed referendums defining marriage as a relationship between a man and a woman". Exit polls asked people what they considered the most important issue, and "moral values in this country" were "the top of the list".

"Traditional family values are under attack," Allen informs me. They've been under attack "for the last 40 years". The enemy, this time, is not al-Qaida. The axis of evil is "Hollywood, the music industry". We have an obligation to "save society from moral destruction". We have to prevent liberal libarians and trendy teachers from "re-engineering society's fabric in the minds of our children". We have to "protect Alabamians".